I was vacuuming my porch yesterday (we have a screened in porch with indoor/outdoor carpet) I'm crazy but not that crazy...anyway
I was vacuuming all the spiderwebs and occasionally a few spiders. Then all my thoughts started waning toward would if all these spiders get together and mate to create a huge deadly man-hunting spider to revenge the death of the porch village of spiders?
So naturally i quit vacuuming and the vacuum is still sitting there beckoning me to come close so this new found creature can come leaping out of the hose extension to bite me.
And it's bite will be worse than a brown recluse instead of my skin eating away I will have body parts falling off within seconds. Just enormous chunks and limbs falling off my body while this spider just sits on top of my vacuum laughing historically at me!
Oh god i have to quit reading Dean Koontz...
1 comment:
Yeesh... I was never a huge fan of spiders, but you've got me beat, hands down.
Try getting one of those bug-vacs. It's a handheld vac that has a special chamber for trapping them. They get caught in a gel substance inside, immobilized, and die. No breeding uber-spiders lurking in the canister... ;-)
Actually, when I was still a bachelor, my favorite solution was a kitchen match and a flammable aerosol: homemade blowtorch. Not the brightest idea I've ever had, but it killed a lot of spiders...
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