HELL EXPLAINED
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a  University of Arizona  chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.   
 
The answer by  one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via  the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it  as well :   
 
 
Bonus  Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs  heat)?   
 
  
Most  of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when  it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some  variant.  
 
One student,  however, wrote the following:   
  First,  we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the  rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving,  which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to  Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls  are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in  the world today.  
 
   Most  of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you  will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since  people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go  to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of  souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of  the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature  and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand  proportionately as souls are added.
 
  
This  gives two possibilities:   
 
   1.  If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell,  then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks  loose.   
   2.  If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then  the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes  over.  
So  which is it?   
If  we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It  will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into  account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true,  and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The  corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it  is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .....leaving only  Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last  night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'  
THIS STUDENT  RECEIVED AN  A+.
 
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