hologram

Trying to figure out what is happening inside your head is quite frightening. It’s such a scary thought because i can feel myself growing cold, bitter, scared, empty. I'm going through school as planned, but the money issue is getting worse which is pushing me to get a job. The only job I will be able to maintain right now, since i have student teaching approaching, is a waitressing job. Damn it, I’ve last this long and not gone back to that crap.

Also it's hard trying to figure out my heart. It hurts and beats, but i don't know for what. lonely, that's what i need to feel. I have not been single in 10 years, i mean truly single. How can I give my heart when I don't know what it wants?

finally, how can i show my face for the acts I've committed which by now have been blown so open and out of proportion just by whispers and dinner parties.

festering...